It isn’t willpower (part 1)

People think it is easy to stick with a plan to stay healthy. They are wrong.  It is very hard. I’d love to eat all the chocolate and cupcakes I want.  But I know how much they cost.  Every calorie has to be accounted for somehow. I know what happens when I allow myself a snack or a break from exercise.  When I do, I don’t want to get back on track.  I lose my momentum.

I’d love to have the time back for reading that I gave up to go to the gym.  This is a sacrifice. The gym isn’t on the way to anywhere I want to go.  Getting there, getting changed, being in the pool – that takes up about 2 hours.  I go up to three times a week.  I have a theory that for every hour you work out, you get two more hours of life.  So, really, I’m earning more time to read later. This is what I tell myself, and sometimes it works.

I fall off the path all the time, and I pay for it.  I feel bad mentally and physically. My knees and back hurt.  I get cranky and mentally sluggish.  Then I want to fall back into the old ways even more.  I want to “fix” my problems with food.  I want to skip going to the Y completely.

I’ve done stupid things.  I have celebrated weight loss with treats.  I’ll get to my goal weight and allow myself to eat a bag of chips or some cake.  Then I go over my goal by 5 pounds. Or I’ll go on vacation and skip all my rules and gain 10 pounds in a week.  Then it takes me two months to lose it again.  It isn’t right that we are wired backwards, that the stuff that we seem programmed to like is bad for us.  We get a perverse sense of glee when we “cheat” on our diet or exercise.

I’ve finally realized the hard way that I can’t buy health.  I have to create it.  Modern Western medicine and cosmetics will try to tell you otherwise but they are lying.  Putting a new coat of paint on an old car is cheating.  The car still runs the same.  Getting liposuction to remove fat does nothing for your heart and your muscles. You may look fit, but it is a façade.

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About betsybeadhead

Hello, and Welcome. My name is Betsy, and I like beads and prayers. Fortunately those two things are more related than I ever realized. You are invited to “like” my Facebook page titled “Betsy Beadhead” and thus see what I’m talking about in my posts when I try to explain something using beads rather than words. This whole thing started because of that. Then I couldn't figure out how to post pictures so I just started writing. I string together words the same way I string together beads, and both serve the same purpose. I work at a library, surrounded by ideas brushing up against each other. I draw, paint, and collage. I study world religions. In all these experiences I like combining different things and making new things, and stretching my understanding of what “is” and what “has to be.” You are welcome to share my posts - just please give credit where credit is due. I'm anti-censorship but I'm also anti-plagiarism.
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