We all need help on one way or another.  Some people are really good at it.  They ask a question without hesitation and without fear. Then there are some people who don’t know how to ask for help.  They feel like they are being a bother.  They feel like they shouldn’t ask.   They feel like asking a question will make them look stupid. So they don’t ask for help, and they fall further behind. They try to do it all themselves.  This rarely works out well.

Then there are those who ask for help but are really arrogant about it.  They will treat the helper like a servant.  Like a slave.  Like a lesser-than.   They feel like they have to put the helper “in their place”. They talk down to the helper in order to feel more important. They want to feel like they are higher, more important.

These two situations are the same thing. In both situations, the people feel that they are in a lower position. In both they feel like it is shameful or embarrassing to ask for help.  One deals with it by simply not asking.  The other deals with it by asking in a way that “saves face”.

The cure?  Just ask for help.  People like to help.  Remember how it made you feel when someone sincerely asked you for help?   It might have made you feel important or special.  It meant that you have information or assistance that is needed.  It means you are valuable. You might have wanted to help them all along and they were stubborn, and you were relieved that they finally asked.

So take that feeling and turn it around.  Give that gift to another person. Ask for help and they will feel important and useful.  You are doing both of you a favor by asking for help.


About betsybeadhead

Hello, and Welcome. My name is Betsy, and I like beads and prayers. Fortunately those two things are more related than I ever realized. You are invited to “like” my Facebook page titled “Betsy Beadhead” and thus see what I’m talking about in my posts when I try to explain something using beads rather than words. This whole thing started because of that. Then I couldn't figure out how to post pictures so I just started writing. I string together words the same way I string together beads, and both serve the same purpose. I work at a library, surrounded by ideas brushing up against each other. I draw, paint, and collage. I study world religions. In all these experiences I like combining different things and making new things, and stretching my understanding of what “is” and what “has to be.” You are welcome to share my posts - just please give credit where credit is due. I'm anti-censorship but I'm also anti-plagiarism.
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