I’m starting to think that seasonal affective disorder has more to do with less activity than less sunlight. Sure, they are connected. Less sunlight means it is colder outside and it gets darker sooner. Thus, we are less inclined to go exercise outside, or at all. We think we’ll take a break, just like the Earth does. We’ll fly south for the winter, even if it is in our heads. We’ll hibernate as much as we are allowed. We still have to go to our jobs, but that is it as far as activity goes. Everything else can just wait.
I have learned the danger of that. If I slow down too much the doldrums set in. I discover I am dead in the water, going nowhere. There’s no wind in my sails. Then depression comes for a visit. When depression comes to visit, it isn’t interested in a day trip. It stays, longer and longer, gathering energy while I am drained of it. Depression is self-perpetuating. It feeds on itself and gets bigger and bigger while my hold on my mind grows less and less.
If I let the doldrums win, that horrible inertia, that nothing that just feeds on itself and grows ever larger, then I would stay at home all day and do nothing. Then I’d feel worse. Then I’d do more nothing. I’d use it as an excuse to not do anything at all. And while I wrestle with the concept of doing too much, I know that doing nothing is death.