Either / or

 

When someone asks you a question and they give you the answers as part of the question, be wary.  It is a trap.  They either don’t really care what you think or they don’t realize the trap themselves.

It is like when someone says the phrase “Don’t you think” either at the beginning or end of a question.  They don’t really care what you think. They just want validation for what they think.

Also, if they say something like “Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the grey shirt?” they have already done most of the thinking for you.  In this instance all you can answer about is blue or gray.   You aren’t even in the same room with the red, orange, or yellow shirts.  And maybe you don’t want to wear a shirt at all.  Maybe you want to wear just a vest, or a dress.

It is good to be mindful of these tricks that people play.  They might not even be aware that they are manipulating you. Whether they are aware or not, the effect is the same.  You are being distracted. You are being led along a path in a direction you may not want to go.

The solution is to question everything and everyone. This is different from simple defiance.  Saying “no” to everything all the time is childish.  But following along mindlessly isn’t the mark of an adult either.

Do whatever it is because you have researched it yourself and found it to be good and in accordance with your values.  If the reason given to do something is “Because we have always done it that way” then do more research to make sure you aren’t being led astray.

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About betsybeadhead

Hello, and Welcome. My name is Betsy, and I like beads and prayers. Fortunately those two things are more related than I ever realized. You are invited to “like” my Facebook page titled “Betsy Beadhead” and thus see what I’m talking about in my posts when I try to explain something using beads rather than words. This whole thing started because of that. Then I couldn't figure out how to post pictures so I just started writing. I string together words the same way I string together beads, and both serve the same purpose. I work at a library, surrounded by ideas brushing up against each other. I draw, paint, and collage. I study world religions. In all these experiences I like combining different things and making new things, and stretching my understanding of what “is” and what “has to be.” You are welcome to share my posts - just please give credit where credit is due. I'm anti-censorship but I'm also anti-plagiarism.
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