Verbal abuse, two ways

         There are two different forms of verbal abuse – what is said, and how it is said. Telling a child that she or he is stupid or worthless is certainly damaging in a very deep way. But a child can also be damaged by innocuous words that are said in an abusive manner.

Words spoken in an aggressive or belittling manner, even if otherwise innocent, aren’t kind.  Tone is essential.  Nothing good is conveyed when you speak to a person, especially a child, in a short, clipped, frustrated manner, or loudly or sharply.  If you say “What do you want?” to your child using a tone that says “Why are you bothering me, again!” then you have verbally abused him. You are the main teacher for your children.  If you teach them through your actions that they don’t matter to you, then you have taught them that they are worthless.

A child doesn’t have a sense of perspective.  Their parent is their “normal”.  When a parent speaks in an abusive manner to her child, he does not know that he should speak up.  That would be unthinkable. It is cruel and thoughtless, as well as an abuse of power, for a parent to verbally abuse her child.  It is not the child’s fault that they were born and that your days of partying are over.  Nor is not the child’s fault if you were raised in a similar manner.


About betsybeadhead

Hello, and Welcome. My name is Betsy, and I like beads and prayers. Fortunately those two things are more related than I ever realized. You are invited to “like” my Facebook page titled “Betsy Beadhead” and thus see what I’m talking about in my posts when I try to explain something using beads rather than words. This whole thing started because of that. Then I couldn't figure out how to post pictures so I just started writing. I string together words the same way I string together beads, and both serve the same purpose. I work at a library, surrounded by ideas brushing up against each other. I draw, paint, and collage. I study world religions. In all these experiences I like combining different things and making new things, and stretching my understanding of what “is” and what “has to be.” You are welcome to share my posts - just please give credit where credit is due. I'm anti-censorship but I'm also anti-plagiarism.
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