What is the source of your pain? What is the root of it all? What motivates you?
We often tend to be motivated out of fear. A fear-based life results in one full of pain and anxiety. Relieve the reasons for the fear and you relieve the pain and anxiety.
Fear often comes from ignorance. When we learn more about the situation, our fear lessens. Ask questions. Read a book about your situation. With these choices, you are exercising control over the problem and that alone will help a lot.
But sometimes you can’t take away the problem. Sometimes the situation can’t be changed. Then the only thing to do is change your opinion of it. The more you fight against it, the more pain you will feel. Stop resisting. Stop fighting. Relax into it. Accept it. Trying to fit a square peg into a round hole is madness.
Life is a lot like giving birth to ourselves over and over. The more we resist it, the harder it will be. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to decide not to define the situation as “good” or “bad”. It just is what it is.