Just because someone is older doesn’t mean that they are mature. There is nothing about time that tempers a person. There is nothing about getting older that means you are an adult. There is nothing about producing children that makes you a good parent. You know a tree by its fruit.
Children often wail when they don’t get their way. Adults either yell or sulk. It is the same thing. Sometimes with adults it translates to drinking or drugs. That is just resentment and anger and grief turned inwards. It is socially accepted self-abuse.
Four or forty, if you haven’t figured out how to be around yourself, then you aren’t very nice to be around for anyone else. There has to be something in there about self-soothing, about self-control. There has to be something in there about being active and not passive about life. Life is all about change, so plan for the bumps. They aren’t a sign that you are bad. They are a sign that you are alive.
It helps to get into a regular habit of exercise and eating well. Save more money than you spend. Find some creative outlet. Learn about other cultures and ways of thinking.
Break out of your shell. It is as if you are a baby bird, stuck in a shell. You have to break out of it on your own. If someone helps you with it you will die. If you are not strong enough to break out on your own then you aren’t strong enough to survive on your own.
Be an active force. Don’t let life just happen to you. Don’t wake up five, ten, twenty years from now and wonder how you got here, sick and dying and your life wasted away.