Don’t let them win

I used to get really fidgety if I couldn’t have a smoke when I wanted it.   When I was at work I would look forward to getting home so I could smoke as much as I wanted.  This was especially true when I’d had a bad experience. Perhaps somebody had yelled at me. All I wanted to do was get home quickly so I could smoke and start feeling good again.  Then one day I thought about it differently.  I was letting them win.  The person who was driving me up the wall was driving me to smoke and ruin my health.  Of course, that person didn’t have a gun to my head.  I was doing the smoking.  I was choosing something bad to counter something bad.

I wasn’t getting back at them by smoking, I was harming myself.  I was actually reinforcing the harm that they had done.  From that point on, I chose to go for a walk or write in my journal about how I felt, or both.  This way, I didn’t compound the problem.


About betsybeadhead

Hello, and Welcome. My name is Betsy, and I like beads and prayers. Fortunately those two things are more related than I ever realized. You are invited to “like” my Facebook page titled “Betsy Beadhead” and thus see what I’m talking about in my posts when I try to explain something using beads rather than words. This whole thing started because of that. Then I couldn't figure out how to post pictures so I just started writing. I string together words the same way I string together beads, and both serve the same purpose. I work at a library, surrounded by ideas brushing up against each other. I draw, paint, and collage. I study world religions. In all these experiences I like combining different things and making new things, and stretching my understanding of what “is” and what “has to be.” You are welcome to share my posts - just please give credit where credit is due. I'm anti-censorship but I'm also anti-plagiarism.
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