I remember

I remember what it was like to smoke pot. I smoked for ten years.  When I started it was once a month.  Then over time it was once a week.  At the worst it was all day long. I’d wake up and get stoned.  When the buzz would wear off I’d smoke some more. Meanwhile I was in college.  I had a job.  I was fully functional as an adult.  All my bills got paid. But I still knew it wasn’t smart.

I remember one time I wanted to quit but I just wasn’t ready to go cold turkey.  I told myself I could slow down.  I didn’t want to smoke every day.   I took my supply of pot and my pipe and I wrapped them up in plastic and sealed it with rubber bands.   I then put it up on a shelf in my closet so I’d have to get a chair to get it.  I figured this would make me think several times about what I was about to do. I figured it would slow me down.

I remember time and time again going for that bundle, opening it up and smoking, and the whole time wondering why I was doing it.  It was as if I was possessed.  I didn’t want to smoke, and here I was smoking.  It was insane.  Nobody was forcing me to do it, but I couldn’t stop. I felt helpless. And this is just pot. It wasn’t heroin, or oxycontin.

People say pot isn’t addictive.  They say it is a gateway drug, that it leads you to other, harder drugs, but that pot itself is harmless. I say otherwise, from my own experience.  There’s about ten years of my life that pot has that I missed.  This is why I’m opposed to the legalization of pot. Look how well we are doing with alcohol being legal.  Look how many people’s lives are ruined by it. Why would we add another way for people to be mindless?

Advertisements

About betsybeadhead

Hello, and Welcome. My name is Betsy, and I like beads and prayers. Fortunately those two things are more related than I ever realized. You are invited to “like” my Facebook page titled “Betsy Beadhead” and thus see what I’m talking about in my posts when I try to explain something using beads rather than words. This whole thing started because of that. Then I couldn't figure out how to post pictures so I just started writing. I string together words the same way I string together beads, and both serve the same purpose. I work at a library, surrounded by ideas brushing up against each other. I draw, paint, and collage. I study world religions. In all these experiences I like combining different things and making new things, and stretching my understanding of what “is” and what “has to be.” You are welcome to share my posts - just please give credit where credit is due. I'm anti-censorship but I'm also anti-plagiarism.
This entry was posted in healing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I remember

  1. Noel says:

    Good point . Thanks for sharing your experience with addiction. It takes a wise person to admit their powerlessness over their addiction. Have you reached out for help? Wish you the best .

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s